Philippines
From Malaysia I was supposed to head North into Thailand then Laos before cutting through China to Hong Kong, but I hadn't left myself a lot of time to do this and had spent extra time in Singapore recovering from my accident. A promising alternative had also arisen in the form of a golf tournament in the Philippines. So off I flew to Manila. We were greeted with a typhoon and one of the worst traffic jams I've ever experienced. We were already about 3 hours into a 2 hour bus ride from the airport when traffic completely stopped for nearly an hour. We ended up just getting out and walking, golf clubs and all. Fortunately we were only a couple of KMs from the end of the bus ride anyway, but from there we had to catch a train. Security is pretty heavy in Manila, you are searched in almost every mall and train station you enter. So we had to have all our bags and clubs searched. From the train it was a taxi ride to our hotel, however there was a queue of about 20 people waiting for taxis, so we ended up giving up as we were having dinner in this area in about 20 minutes anyway. By this stage we had a pretty rosy view of Manila. Luckily it all picked up once we'd eaten, had a few drinks and dumped our bags. The night turned into quite a big one, with a lot of bar hopping and dancing bringing us home after 4am for a 5am golf start. Nick had missed his flight to Manila, so he couldn't make the golf and Michael decided he didn't want to play, so I was the only one, but figured it could be fun. Unfortunately after just 30 minutes sleep, I rushed down to meet my lift and forgot to bring my hat or any sunscreen. It had been raining buckets the previous day anyway ...
These were the "umbrella girls" I was dissapointed that they didn't actually come with an umbrella. Check out the clouds in the background. Guess who can get a tan in that kind of weather?
This was my 'flight', a nice group of guys. I had them really scared when I hit the first two greens with ease, but as soon as I started missing the greens and had to rely on Nick's baby clubs which were about 5 inches too short for me, my true colours came out and it was all down hill. By the back 9 all I was doing was running from shade to shade and praying for rain.
On the bright side, I think I demonstrated to the Asians what it means to get sun burnt, and how it's still possible to achieve this red state when it's overcast. I was glowing red and looking "good enough to eat" as Litou told me, and all this within just an hour after returning to the clubhouse. There was a delicious roasted pig served up and much cerveca - san miguel is practically all they serve in the Philippines.
I felt a little strange and alone at first sitting with all these strangers, extremely self conscious of my burning complexion, but after a while I figured there was no point worrying about it and ended up having a great time laughing with everyone. They were amazingly open and funny I thought, I think they appreciated my willingness to poke fun at myself. We drove home via a beautiful bar perched right atop a steep crater with a lake in the middle. Then again for another, and another toilet stop, before finding our way to "The Birdie Hole - Back 9" It took me about two seconds on entry to realise what kind of place this was. Thankfully there was no forceful begging or whining like my previous experience (in Thailand) when I made it clear "There's no way I'm doing any of this fucking shit" in response to them bringing 5 girls out onto stage, spotlighting them and asking me which one I wanted. I continued to drink and chat though, and even managed to try out 'Balut' - 3 day old duck still in the egg, feathers and all.
Apparently it was the final challenge in one of those extreme reality TV shows where they do crazy stuff. Personally I thought it just tasted like an egg with something slightly slimy and crunchy inside. It was slightly off putting when after I took my first bite a little brown head lolled out. Next stop we met up with Nick, Michael and Shaowee for another drink, then a last minute decision by Michael and I to go out dancing at Embassy. Hefty $20-30 entrance fee which didn't represent the quality of the DJ. Still managed to have a good dance, including a bit of a flirt with a cute girl which for some reason I couldn't satisfy myself was actually a girl. She was kinda tall and had broad shoulders, but no adams apple that I could see. As I was leaving, she gave me her number and her name was Glen. Interesting .. but I figure if you've gone to the trouble of all this sex change business, why keep what is probably the easiest of all things to change male? And just the night before we had heard of a girl who was named "Kevvin". Oh well, we returned to our hotel with just 20 minutes before our 5am golf call for the next day again. I lay on my bed for a minute, then sat up and it was 10am. I was annoyed that Michael had left without me, but figured he was just being nice, letting me sleep, but damn, I really wanted to play. Probably for the best that I got some sleep though as I was developing a golf ball sized gland in my throat. When Michael returned he explained that I had said "Fuck off, and fuck golf" when he tried to lift me from the bed. I guess it was my subconscious speaking. After a day of rest, Michael and I moved hotels to somewhere slightly cheaper.
That night I was initiated into the Hash House Harriers. A drinking group with a running problem. I'd heard of them years ago and was very keen but kept missing out on a chance to run anywhere. They're an international group in almost every major city in the world, running weekly. Basically a 'hare' sets a course with chalk or toilet paper indicating the direction to run every 200 metres or so. There are sometimes special markers indicating the next marker could be in any direction, and wrong turns, where you have to run back. This allows the slower runners to keep up as they don't have to traverse all the wrong paths. It finishes with a lot of beer drinking, singing and skulling for any excuse you can think off. Of course the night ended with us in Makati in another dodgy establishment. At least this one had a pool table.
Finally managed to do something touristy the next day, with a tour around the old Fort and a church.
But of course by the time the sun went down, you can guess where we ended up. This place you had to challenge the girls to Jenga or Connect 4. If you win, they take off more clothes, if they win, you have to buy a round of drinks. After a couple of games of connect 4 where I was completely taken to town (I worked out their trick, the game was coloured blue and they always used the blue chips, which were nearly impossible to see in the dark, particularly after a few beers), I realised that this was a very expensive past time. I tried to offer my boobs as a prize for their victory, but it only worked once. The cries of "Show us your dick" didn't get honoured. We did a bit of a tour after this, ending up at Ringside for the promise of female boxing, mud wrestling and shampoo. Within a few minutes of entering, I was somehow dragged into the ring, made to wear these ridiculously over sized boxing gloves and pitted against a rather strong looking girl.
"Go easy on me. Don't hurt me"
she says as she jams her fist into my groin. She had a pretty mean punch, landed quite a few on my face, but then I don't think I had much defence, I was too busy laughing. This was certainly a highlight, I had a lot of fun dancing around the ring, and quite liked Anna the boxing queen. She crowned me her trainer and kept asking for advice. When the real fight began, she took her opponent to pieces. I almost felt proud! When we left she asked me to never forget her and took a peso, wrapped it in tissue paper then burnt it with a lighter as a memento for me.
Last day in Manila and I feel completely drained. My shoulder's still sore, I'm unable to raise my arm in certain directions, my face and neck have begun to peel, the sore throat's moved up into my head and looking back I realise I haven't done a solid poo since I arrived. Perfect combination for a 4 hour wait at the airport followed by a 3 hour flight to Hong Kong.
These were the "umbrella girls" I was dissapointed that they didn't actually come with an umbrella. Check out the clouds in the background. Guess who can get a tan in that kind of weather?
This was my 'flight', a nice group of guys. I had them really scared when I hit the first two greens with ease, but as soon as I started missing the greens and had to rely on Nick's baby clubs which were about 5 inches too short for me, my true colours came out and it was all down hill. By the back 9 all I was doing was running from shade to shade and praying for rain.
On the bright side, I think I demonstrated to the Asians what it means to get sun burnt, and how it's still possible to achieve this red state when it's overcast. I was glowing red and looking "good enough to eat" as Litou told me, and all this within just an hour after returning to the clubhouse. There was a delicious roasted pig served up and much cerveca - san miguel is practically all they serve in the Philippines.
I felt a little strange and alone at first sitting with all these strangers, extremely self conscious of my burning complexion, but after a while I figured there was no point worrying about it and ended up having a great time laughing with everyone. They were amazingly open and funny I thought, I think they appreciated my willingness to poke fun at myself. We drove home via a beautiful bar perched right atop a steep crater with a lake in the middle. Then again for another, and another toilet stop, before finding our way to "The Birdie Hole - Back 9" It took me about two seconds on entry to realise what kind of place this was. Thankfully there was no forceful begging or whining like my previous experience (in Thailand) when I made it clear "There's no way I'm doing any of this fucking shit" in response to them bringing 5 girls out onto stage, spotlighting them and asking me which one I wanted. I continued to drink and chat though, and even managed to try out 'Balut' - 3 day old duck still in the egg, feathers and all.
Apparently it was the final challenge in one of those extreme reality TV shows where they do crazy stuff. Personally I thought it just tasted like an egg with something slightly slimy and crunchy inside. It was slightly off putting when after I took my first bite a little brown head lolled out. Next stop we met up with Nick, Michael and Shaowee for another drink, then a last minute decision by Michael and I to go out dancing at Embassy. Hefty $20-30 entrance fee which didn't represent the quality of the DJ. Still managed to have a good dance, including a bit of a flirt with a cute girl which for some reason I couldn't satisfy myself was actually a girl. She was kinda tall and had broad shoulders, but no adams apple that I could see. As I was leaving, she gave me her number and her name was Glen. Interesting .. but I figure if you've gone to the trouble of all this sex change business, why keep what is probably the easiest of all things to change male? And just the night before we had heard of a girl who was named "Kevvin". Oh well, we returned to our hotel with just 20 minutes before our 5am golf call for the next day again. I lay on my bed for a minute, then sat up and it was 10am. I was annoyed that Michael had left without me, but figured he was just being nice, letting me sleep, but damn, I really wanted to play. Probably for the best that I got some sleep though as I was developing a golf ball sized gland in my throat. When Michael returned he explained that I had said "Fuck off, and fuck golf" when he tried to lift me from the bed. I guess it was my subconscious speaking. After a day of rest, Michael and I moved hotels to somewhere slightly cheaper.
That night I was initiated into the Hash House Harriers. A drinking group with a running problem. I'd heard of them years ago and was very keen but kept missing out on a chance to run anywhere. They're an international group in almost every major city in the world, running weekly. Basically a 'hare' sets a course with chalk or toilet paper indicating the direction to run every 200 metres or so. There are sometimes special markers indicating the next marker could be in any direction, and wrong turns, where you have to run back. This allows the slower runners to keep up as they don't have to traverse all the wrong paths. It finishes with a lot of beer drinking, singing and skulling for any excuse you can think off. Of course the night ended with us in Makati in another dodgy establishment. At least this one had a pool table.
Finally managed to do something touristy the next day, with a tour around the old Fort and a church.
But of course by the time the sun went down, you can guess where we ended up. This place you had to challenge the girls to Jenga or Connect 4. If you win, they take off more clothes, if they win, you have to buy a round of drinks. After a couple of games of connect 4 where I was completely taken to town (I worked out their trick, the game was coloured blue and they always used the blue chips, which were nearly impossible to see in the dark, particularly after a few beers), I realised that this was a very expensive past time. I tried to offer my boobs as a prize for their victory, but it only worked once. The cries of "Show us your dick" didn't get honoured. We did a bit of a tour after this, ending up at Ringside for the promise of female boxing, mud wrestling and shampoo. Within a few minutes of entering, I was somehow dragged into the ring, made to wear these ridiculously over sized boxing gloves and pitted against a rather strong looking girl.
"Go easy on me. Don't hurt me"
she says as she jams her fist into my groin. She had a pretty mean punch, landed quite a few on my face, but then I don't think I had much defence, I was too busy laughing. This was certainly a highlight, I had a lot of fun dancing around the ring, and quite liked Anna the boxing queen. She crowned me her trainer and kept asking for advice. When the real fight began, she took her opponent to pieces. I almost felt proud! When we left she asked me to never forget her and took a peso, wrapped it in tissue paper then burnt it with a lighter as a memento for me.
Last day in Manila and I feel completely drained. My shoulder's still sore, I'm unable to raise my arm in certain directions, my face and neck have begun to peel, the sore throat's moved up into my head and looking back I realise I haven't done a solid poo since I arrived. Perfect combination for a 4 hour wait at the airport followed by a 3 hour flight to Hong Kong.
posted by Flex at 12:14 am
3 Comments:
wow - i guess you answered the question about the chicken and the egg - and had them both at once!
I continue to eat chicken like it's going out of fashion. I ate a huge bucket of fried chicken from Osaka tonight, but it was really ordinary. Followed up with a guaranteed tasty morsel of fried chicken from 'Lawsons'. A bit like a 7-11, except their fried chicken is divine, better than KFC.
now thats my kind of holiday!
we need more pictures of the chicken you've eaten!
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